Self-efficacy: How much do you have?

A funny thing happened last Thursday night in my Theory in Health Education class. Self-efficacy is being discussed heavily this past couple of weeks.

Self-efficacy is your belief about your capacity to accomplish set goals. You can think of it as confidence on steroids.

This past Thursday night, we took a self-efficacy questionnaire. We had 4 questions that consisted of a baseline survey and three more surveys that are taken after we are given new knowledge.

Our professor posed us with a baseline question: After class, you’re walking to your car and then suddenly someone starts attacking you. How likely are you able to fend off the attacker?

Here’s my self-efficacy questionnaire:

From 2012-02-18

If you notice, I have all 10s listed. Either I’m one cocky skinny guy or secretly a ninja. I marked 10 as my baseline not to be funny in class, but I felt confident enough that I could do fend off an attacker. With each additional survey, our professor went through typical self-defense training techniques and then she would ask us how likely we were to defend against an attacker.

Afterward, five of us shared our answers. I was the only one who put up all 10′s. We talked a little bit about them and then my professor pulled out of her bag some wood karate boards. She explained how you can build up your self-efficacy, but when a challenge arises, your self-efficacy can spike downward.

She then set up one of the boards between two bricks on the floor and then proceeds to break one with her foot. Crazy moment in class and I’ve never seen anything like that in a classroom. My professor then asks if anyone wants to try.

Immediately, one of my classmates, Courtney, called me out on my high self-efficacy scores and wanted me to try it.

Oh, shit. I just called out. I had to put my word where my mouth is and get up in front of the class and do it. I’ve never broken a board in my life, but I remember growing up my best man Corey always broke them for taekwondo. I always teased him about it and told him they were pre-broken before he did it.

Standing before my peers, my mind is going crazy. Questions like, how much of a fool are you going to make yourself out to be tonight? Can I actually break this? How much force is needed to break this board? Damn, I shouldn’t have put all 10s down.

My professor is explaining all the details to me and demonstrating the leg motion. The more I stood up there, the more anxious I felt, so I decided to not give any warning that I was going to break it. I remember my professor turning her head to the right a little while explaining something. I throw my right leg up and slam my heel into the board. I tried to channel every pissed off feeling that I’ve had lately into the board. My heel hits the floor and I’m a little stunned that I broke the board.

I think the amount of force I put into breaking the board and how I did it without warning surprised everyone. My professor jumped and screamed a little, so it provided a nice laugh.

Here I am with my broken boards:

From 2012-02-17

Breaking the board helped me realize that
1) It’s a great stress reliever
2) We sometimes, or I know I do, sells ourselves short at times.

What I mean with #2 is that whatever we’re trying to accomplish whether it is achieving career related goals, educational goals, spiritual goals, or relationship goals, we always have some self-doubt. Dante’s Inferno and Puragtory are classic example of someone doubting whether or not they will reach their end goals. But what I learned from Dante’s writing and from various experiences, you need the surround yourself with supportive people and you need to find ways to build up the inter self-efficacy.

Here are some of my favorite authors or books that have inspired me over the years:
Life After College by Jenny Blake

Mountains Beyond Mountains: Healing the World: The Quest of Dr. Paul Farmer by Tracy Kidder

and The Steve Jobs Biography by Walter Isaacson

Quick Thoughts

This semester is incredibly boring, so far. It is only the first couple of weeks, but I need to figure out how to get over the boredom so that I don’t screw up when midterms come up.

I’m getting closer to my classmates, so the experience is going really well so far.

I’m thinking of pursing a Doctorate in Public Health (DrPH) or a PhD in Public Health. Both have certain goals in mind, but essentially is the highest Public Health academic point. I would like to do it sooner rather than later because I feel I will have less motivation to do it when there are more things going on in my life. However, I made an unofficial agreement with Brit before we were married that I would do my masters then she would do one.  I intent to honor that, so I have to figure out how to make both things work. I also need to make myself more attractable to PhD/DrPH programs.  I’ve talked with Brit about this a couple of nights ago and of course she’s supportive of me.

Why do I want to pursue a PhD? I’ll talk more about that later.  If I do go on for a PhD, that would in my mind end the path to medical school.  I’m not sure how I feel about that.  However, I think I did make up my mind a while back ago.

I’m working on securing an internship with a foundation here in Savannah.  I’m sure there’s a lot of good applicants.  I had my interview today and I feel it went well. 

I also picked up an editor position for a newsletter in a Community Health and Policy Development section for the American Public Health Association. It’s a small gig, but I’m learning. I would say it’s less editing than I thought it would be. 

Book Review: Steve Jobs by Walter Isaacson

A goal of mine over winter break was to read and finish the Steve Jobs biography by Walter Isaacson. As a tech enthusiast, I was interested in reading about Steve and his accomplishments. I believe the more you read about successful people, their stories should inspire you to do great things. It’s similar to surrounding yourself around positive people.
Here are some quick thoughts I have about the book:

• An important take away from Steve Job’s philosophy is highlighted well by Isaacson: “His management mantra was “Focus.” He eliminated excess product lines and cut extraneous features in the new operating system that Apple was developing.”
• Steve discussed how several music artists who pushed to innovate shaped his outlook on life: “That’s what I’ve always tried to do–keep moving. Otherwise, as Dylan says, if you’re not busy being born, you’re busy dying.”
• I argue that Steve would have been a good St. John’s student. Brit would add “he would be difficult in class” which I think would be true. How he attacked problems is in the same way St. John’s tries to model its students. “People would confront a problem by creating a presentation. I wanted them to engage, to hash things out at the table, rather than show a bunch of slides. People who know what they’re talking about don’t need PowerPoint.”

In the opening pages, I think Isaacson highlights the best theme of the book and how we, as Americans, should direct our attention to solving some of the problems that we are facing today:

“The creativity that can occur when a feel for both the humanities and the sciences combine in one strong personality was the topic that most interested me in my biographies of Franklin and Einstein, and I believe that it will be a key to creating innovative economies in the twenty-first century.”

I would recommend this book if you’re interested in how much thought was given to a lot of the Apple products we see around us every day. If you enjoy reading biographies, this will not disappoint you. Isaacson’s writes in a way that combines a storytelling and Steve’s own words. Isaacoson’s writing can draw you in so much that at times it almost feels like Steve is talking to you. If you’re interested in how Steve made certain business decisions, you won’t find much analysis here, but then again, it wouldn’t be Steve if he didn’t allow you to think for yourself on such problems.

More Random Thoughts

2nd round of tests happened last week. Out of my three classes, I had one paper and two tests to take.

I felt stressed for about two weeks straight. The paper was a group paper which can go either great or really bad, depending on your partner. My partner is a smart girl so I didn’t think any problems would come up. Also, we are all in graduate school now, so I would think undergraduate excuses have been exhausted at this point. My partner and I had planned to meet one weekend afternoon and discuss our research on the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act (PPAC) and it’s affect on US Health Care costs and expenditures. Long story short, my partner ended up in the hospital and could not meet with me to write the paper. No biggie. I just had her send the articles she found for the paper and I would write the paper. After a few days, I had a decent 7 page paper.

One of my tests I was really worried about because I didn’t feel as comfortable with the material as I did with the first test. There were a few multiple choice questions that I did not know. I guessed and turns out, I guessed right on all of them. I received an A on the test, but I feel like I dodged a bullet. My grade could have been worse, so I am trying to learn from those weeks and study more efficiently now on.

I don’t know what my last test score is because the professor was in Baltimore last week for a public health conference.

I plan on moving this blog to a broader name instead of a focused, themed blog. I don’t feel comfortable discussing about topics outside of my goals to get into medical school in this blog. I have not dropped my goal to get into medical school, but rather have writings that reflect more of my broaden medicine experience. I’ll work on it in December.

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Survived first round of tests.

Biostats test: 96%
Epidemiology test: 88%
Provider paper: Turned in, but not graded, yet.

I’m surprised the most about my epi test score. It’s not as high as I would like it to be. However, it is higher than the score I was predicting. The test really did not test us on the concepts we learned in class and in the book. A lot of the questions were about the most random stuff in the book. There were no questions testing us about applying concepts and what the results of the concepts meant. It was absurd.

1/3 of the semester over with. I’m happy with my progress, but I’m trying not to get too ahead of myself. I still have a lot left to do this semester. I’ll celebrate in December.

Quick thoughts about my MPH experience so far

The readings are big, but it feels like a normal load from my St. John’s days.

I’m getting used to lectures again. Class discussions are easy for me, but I noticed some of my peers have either a hard time discussing things/don’t want to talk.

I recently had a big Biostatistics test on Wednesday. I feel good about how I did, but I reserving judgement until I actually see my test score. I did really take my time on this test and rechecked my answers. I caught an error in one of my summations which threw off the rest of my calculations, so I’m happy I at least caught that.

I talked to The Navy again about joining to help pay for the MPH program. I would join under their Health Services Collegiate Program (HSCP). The only problem is that The Navy has added a Health Administrator concentration requirement to MPH degree pursuers or holders. AASU doesn’t do MPH concentrations, but I talked to the department chair and he said we could work something out and call it a concentration. Hopefully things will work out.

I have no regrets about attending AASU. My classes are always less than 25 students. It’s nice school and they gave me a break on tuition.

I’m learning a lot of new insights about the US medical system. Right now I’m learning the basics of research methods through my Biostatistics and Epidemiology classes. My other class, Health care delivery and financing, is more of a seminar class. We’re currently going through a historical account of US medicine and how it became what it is today.

I really like living in Savannah so far. I guess there is a familiarity that I miss about being on The West Coast, but I’m not missing living on that side of the US.